Asphalt Diaries

Gather round children, or adults, or teens, hell I'll even welcome you tweens into this circle as well. No babies though...I find that their syntax and ability to spell is poor at best and thus they will not bring anything to this text based discussion/lecture with room for questions at the end.

I recently attained employment, as you may or may not be aware. As for what I do, I work at a grocery store and though there are a few aspects to the job there is one thing in particular I should like to talk to you all about. And it is this:

Carts.

Yes, carts. Carts make me a bitter man on a daily basis. The moment the hour to round up carts rolls around I become jaded, some may say cynical, and inwardly full of loathing for my fellow man. For on carts, you see the worst in everyone, their sloth, their malice, their greed all float to the surface like oil on water.

They leave their carts in the middle of parking spaces, allow them to roll away, or push them onto raised areas for plants. All so they can avoid walking the width of a car to put a cart in a corral or the front of the store. They may see you pushing a row of carts, and to save a precious second where they could ask if they could stick the cart on the end of the row, to which I would surely respond positively, they will shove it into the gap between the cars so that a second trip must be made to retrieve it. And they do it knowingly, watching as your optimism is chipped away one cart at a time. Even when asked if they'd like you to take their cart they will often ignore you, and jump into their car and drive away, I imagine laughing or scowling.

There has been a lot of concern about obesity and the lack of fitness in the population as a whole, quite seriously I believe the epidemic could be fixed out there on the asphalt, with a few extra steps each day they can be on their way to making this nation lean and fighting fit once more! Or even in the stores, youth obesity could be dented by making your children walk around the store instead of pushing them about in those "novelty carts" which may have a car or some other thing kids supposedly dream of driving or riding in. Am I suggesting that this move would be the cure-all for this wave of obesity? No, but every calorie counts.

So, friends, Americans, countrymen, foreigners who know English or who are reading this through a translator I would encourage you all to work in a supermarket. A strange recommendation you may think after what I have said, however I believe if you all experience this bitterness, and taste this cynicism for an hour a day our current generations will be better for it, and perhaps our future generations will not need to learn this lesson from the internet, but they will be taught by their parents that to be lazy with carts is a deed fraught with evil.

This may not have been an excellent read, and I'm sure it was far from well written but it must be said and hopefully it may be heard.